ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
