Plan B is the new Plan A
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do vagina's smell?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
