you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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