Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
