As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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