i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
