we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
