Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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