just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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