don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
