There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
