Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i can't believe i had my finger in that
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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