go do what you do best...puke behind churches
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
