Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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