go do what you do best...puke behind churches
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
