Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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