We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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