I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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