I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
