YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
