i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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