im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
