Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I will be naked everywhere
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
