dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
