Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
