How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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