my soul wont recognize me after tonight
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
