My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
