Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
