Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
