i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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