Whod you bang
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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