you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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