Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
