He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
