Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
