two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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