Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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