Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
worst night to have a conscience
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
