I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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