to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
