i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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