I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
