Kiss
Puke
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
