i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
