ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
