So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Operation Purity has been aborted
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize