fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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