Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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