Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
