we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
