Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm at about main and main street
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
