So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
