Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize