I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
