The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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