I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
