Fuck appropriateness.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
