Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
