i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
