the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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