it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize