i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
