you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
