You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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