put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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